Stupid. Haha well yes, that’s me. I am a normal teenage girl with normal daily routine. College and home are my ultimate destinations. Food makes me happy. I love spending time in my phone so yeah, I’m like everybody else out there.
Being a teenager is quite harder than I expected it to be. I’ve been through a lot of psychological traumas since I was a kid. Let’s not discuss this thing here.
Talking about the pain, there’s a common pain we might have been through that is a heart break. Heart break, huh? At the age of 17 ? Well, yes I had one when I was 15 and I wonder if that really was heartbreak or a pain you get when you can’t find your notes which you’ve to submit tomorrow at any cost. I am sorry, if any of my relative is reading this.
At the age of 16 when, I had no idea about the world… I didn’t know about this cruel world, fake friends and things like these you know here and there, I fell for a guy not falling completely but had a crush on him. Not going to make things obvious because he knows the thing but others don’t so, let it be a secret. As secret as America’s book of secrets.
So I had crush on one of my collegue not right away but after knowing him, it took some time. I’ve always been a loner, a loner with lots of friends. I was there alone, in a familiar crowd but all lost and hurt and hopeless. Things were getting worse but I was okay, I don’t remember if I was really okay or pretending to be okay because it seems like long gone. And my so called former crush was there talking to me everyday, he made me addicted to himself without making me realize myself.
He was the one I used to wait for, could talk about everything and share everything indeed he really is a great guy. In fact he is one of the best people, I’ve ever met. It was winter and christmas was around the corner, we’re talking and conversation went so deep that I didn’t realize it was 3am. I was already self centered and he was telling me to focus on myself, studies and let go all the past… Gosh, I’m embarassed those talks were of another level.
Things were going on normally, we were friends. Flirting? I was getting quite good at it because of him and one night I decided to confess it. I confessed and was rejected as well but that didn’t hurt because I was expecting the similar response. Maybe I really wasn’t into him and I thank god for it because if I were, nobody knows how hurt my pride would have been.
I was supposed to be heartbroken but I wasn’t, I wasn’t even bruised. That was when, I felt like how a bird feels when he gets to fly free in the infinite sky after staying in a cage for months, it surely was a great feeling. Thing that bounded me for so long was finally broken and I was set free. It’s not like I was bounded back then but it was a strange feeling as if I got my freedom back after ages.
I admit, I was quite hurt and few drops of water rolled down my cheeks but I was okay, really okay because I am strong and brave. He taught me a lot, overall it was a beautiful expercience. The butterflies inside my stomach evolved and died inside me, blame him dear butterflies not me, okay? But you need to consider he was the one who gave you birth so he somehow has right to kill you as well. Atleast I didn’t end up being ‘Devdas.’ And yes thank you dear former crush for all the good time, I guess it’s time to let go the feelings.
I will make sure to distribute the love, I have for you to distribute to people around me. In case, you’re reading this THANK YOU ! Thank you for all those butterflies and crushwala moments I got to feel because of you. I’ve always been thankful to have you by my side and I always will. I will be here incase you need me and hope the friendship we share to stay forever.